This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
