you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
