He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
