She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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