she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just forgot I was standing up.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
