So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
