I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We smell like vodka and hangover
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