The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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