Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
