I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
