And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
