Moan for me like Helen Keller
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
