it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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