I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
