i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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