Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
