Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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