Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
