There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
