i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
