He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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