we're blogging at a bar
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
