Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
