just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
