ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
