Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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