Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
