Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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