I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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