Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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