She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
