We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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