I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
