I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
