in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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