I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
