..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
