I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
