Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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