I love black thongs
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
