I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
