we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
