Yo dont text me then not text me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
