I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
