Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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