I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
someone owes me an orgasm
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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