i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
