Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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