Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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