The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
jump out the window naked night went bad
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
