I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
