I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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