they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
