Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
