Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
