she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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